In response to a certain series' popularity on tumblr, and many requests made....


I do not like you, Benny-Holmes,
Though acknowledging your fine cheekbones.
I do not like your Johnlock fans,
(though rather admire gay Moriarty's plans).
I do adore your awkward Martin,
But Bilbo is his finest castin'!
Inspector Lestrade is a true silver fox,
that "Not My Division" gif everywhere rocks!
Though Lara Pulver made a gorgeous Adler,
Her character arc was a sexist disaster.
And that Black Lotus Triad Chinese ninja assassin!?
OMG, what is this, a 1950s Tintin?
'Sherlock' your plots are just clever as can be,
and a twist! the setting's twenty-twelve AD!
Still I join not in your writers' adulation,
nor, post "Reichenbach", their vituperation...
Aye, Bundersnatch is a very fine actor -
I admired his turn as Frankenstein's Monster -
But BBC Sherlock does little for me
(btw that intro? sounds a lot like Ritchie).
I cannot quite twig why exactly this is,
But this whole fangirl favourite for me does not fizz.
So shoo with your hedgehogs and LOL Smaug is BORED,
and your Good Omens castings, you Sherlockèd horde;
to my fancomic cast I have no plans to add on
your fave high-functioning sociopath do your research Anderson.


(No, I haven't watched Elementary yet.)
Apologies to all English majors. Counter-arguments accepted only in verse.